Have you ever had
that fantasy that if you know all signs of deception you somehow have this
super power like Dr. Lightman in Lie to Me to say who is lying and who is just
anxious and who is having and affair with who and all that stuff? Well I do.
But in the real life things are way more complicated.
Example: One of the
signs of deception can be to scratch your ear and your neck. The other day I
was sitting with a friend, we were discussing a subject and were not really
happy with our opponent's view, so after a while I got conscious of my own
defeated body posture with a forward head, rounded shoulder, shrinking inside
myself, so I just moved my whole body and sat very straight, shoulders backward
, heads up! And right at that moment I started scratching my ear and the back
of my neck. No I was not lying that
moment about the things I was saying, but I was lying to myself. That was only
a fake posture that I have chosen to use to imply my power and confidence while
I was not confident in my argument...I was lying to myself and my friend about
my own posture.
Sometimes we just
have to realize that the interpretation of the nonverbal cues might show a sign
of a feeling like anxiety, fear, joy etc. but that doesn't prove that we know
the reason for all these signs. So let's be fair and try to be cautious about our
interpretations.
On this post I want
to talk about deception and it's basic signs.
Do you remember that
story with the three wise monkeys? Together they embody the
proverbial principle to "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no
evil". The three monkeys are Mizaru, covering his eyes, who sees no
evil; Kikazaru, covering his ears, who hears no evil; and Iwazaru,
covering his mouth, who speaks no evil (Wikipedia).
This can be a good
guide to know more about deception! Remember when you were a kid and you'd see
something bad or say something that you were not supposed to say? You'd just
cover your mouth or your eyes. When growing up that mechanism became somehow more
implicit and you might just scratch your eye when you see something unpleasant,
or that could be a rub of your ear!
So for these factors
that I'm gonna talk about I used some parts of Allen and Barbara Pease's book
"The Definitive Book of Body language" and some articles.
1. Mouth
Coverage: Remember when someone would hush you when you say something bad? Well
now your brain wants to hush you from lying! This can only be a small touch on
the lips.
2 And
3. Nose touch/itch: Which can show
itself like small rubs. But guess who does that all the time? Well, me! I have
hay fever and my nose is always itchy, specially the tip of my nose, in fact I'm just scratching it right now! So,
remember not to misinterpret this act. There's an explanation for scratching
your nose when you lie and it’s called the Pinocchio effect! Psychologists
investigating how mental states affect body temperature say that when people
lie their noses and the region around the inner corner of their eyes begin to
warm up. If you wanna know more about the effect take a look at this link (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2242722/The-Pinocchio-effect-If-dont-tell-truth-nose-really-away.html)
4.The eye rub: This is a mechanism that the brain uses to block seeing
unpleasant stuff or deceit. Though, in women usually the make up makes them rub
below the eye. There's also this thing that some say when one wants to lie
he/she tries not to have eye contact. However, studies don't approve such
statement. Dr. Matsumoto who I just LOVE his surname and also works on
deception states that this statement is probably due to what children do, as
they avoid having eye contact when they're lying, but when one grows up one
get's better at lying, so that's no good reference anymore.
Porter’s Forensic
Psychology Lab at Dalhousie University has shown that face will betray the
deceiver’s true emotion, but not in the stereotypical ways we think. So not
necessarily the eye contact can tell if one is lying, but one thing that can be
important is to know how that person usually is. Is he always shy, is he always
trying to steal his look and now all of a sudden he's looking deep into your
eyes saying something, or vice versa? Again, this as well is not necessarily a
sign!
5. Ear
grab: This can both be a sign of deception or sometimes it's a symbolic way to
say "I've heard enough, now's my turn to talk!!". Also anxiety can
provoke the same action.
6.Neck
scratch: That usually happens on the neck near the earlobe around five times!
It also shown that one is not sure about something.
7. Collar
pull: Usually when someone lies, specially when they're afraid that you have
found about it, their blood pressure rises and that can also lead to more
sweating, so one has to loose the collar to get some cool air! That will also
happen in anger and frustration.
8. Finger
in mouth: Ok, this time do you remember when you were a kid u used to suck your
thumb? When you lie, you a need to feel better about the distress that has been
caused so you just go back to the safe childhood era and in an implicit why
start doing the same thing!
Most of the studies
have shown that when asking people to conceal a feeling , that basic
instruction to suppress their
emotions reduced,
but did not eliminate completely, the emotional expressions of the
participants(Ceschi and Scherer 2003; Porter and ten Brinke 2008; Schmeichel et
al. 2008).
Let's also remember
that deception is not only about lying about a special thing. Sometimes you
just are in a lot of pain and you are trying to hide it and while your face is
trying to show no sign of pain, usually the eyebrows which are more responsive to
pain can show your pain(Craig et al. 1991; Hill and Craig 1998)! Or imagine a
situation where you want to seem open to a new suggestion and while you approve
all the things one is saying, you are folding your arms and your feet and are
leaning backward...that doesn't seem very open to new ideas!
There are a few
things that is important in the interpretation of these gestures and postures.
One is to remember to look at all the factors in one's nonverbal behavior. For
example look at this clip:
Clinton is not only
shaking his head like YES while he's denying his affair in the beginning, he's
also looking at another direction than where his finger is pointing at. I think
I saw this in Lie To Me. You can see there's no integrity between his words,
his gestures and even between different gestures. So if you are telling the
truth both your body and your words confirm each other.
The second thing is
to remember not all things are a sign of what might seem. You see someone
continuously scratching their head...a leech maybe??!! Folded arm...cold
maybe?!
Too much info I
guess. Will continue this subject another time.
This is a great blog
by Dr. G. Jack Brown, body language expert and physician (http://www.bodylanguagesuccess.com/)
There are good
examples for deception clues and also other stuff!
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